Date:
09.24.09
Author:
Sam
Title:
An inspirational story involving Mad Rock
Let me share with you, my beloved co-workers/humble subordinates, a true story of inspiration, a modern day parable. This happened just this morning. It’s funny how inspiration comes when you need it most. It’s also funny how life kicks you while you’re down, clowns are also funny, but alas, I digress.
This morning as I was driving to work, my wipers on high and the inspirational talk-radio on low, I was making a mental list of all of the things God has failed to give me. The more I thought about this the faster I drove. Swerving dangerously in front of a short school bus, I cursed all the motorist who found it so necessary to drive the speed limit. I realized that the inspirational tale on the radio was a re-run, so I put in a mix of my favorite black metal. My faith was shaking itself.
Due to my NASCAR approach to my morning commute, I had arrived at the Wildy World Headquarters exactly seven minutes early. What I saw when I came to the front door angered and filled me with hope simultaneously. A surly FedEx driver was standing at the door about to leave a “sorry we missed you” notice when he saw me and realized that his treachery would have to wait for another morning. I politely signed for the box and bid the driver adieu.
I feel like there was a point to that story, but I can’t think of it at the moment.
Here’s what we got from Mad Rock:
Mad Rock PHOENIX shoes – from the dusty base of the crag, you shall rise, an omnipotent force sending anything in your way, imposing righteousness and draining the life-force of sinners everywhere.
Mad Rock BANSHEE shoes – same thing as the Phoenix, but for girls. Girls are great. If I had to pick someone to bear my children, it would probably be a girl.
Ok, here are a few potential morals for that story:
“When life hands you lemons, send those lemons back and ask for the climbing gear that you ordered in the first place” – doesn’t really apply to the situation.
“When life seems like too much, relax, its just some higher power trying to test you faith. Don’t give that higher power the satisfaction.” – I’ll buy that for a dollar.
Remember, all sins can be forgiven, except for gluttony, but gluttony is the American way, and as far as I’m concerned, failure to adhere to the American way is also a sin. So it’s sort of a catch 22.
Over and out,
Sam
